What is the worst that can happen?

I never forward videos. Ever! Until today. I received this and then forwarded it to my facebook friends.

It is not cute, or laugh out loud funny. But hopefully it will make you think.

Conversations with an Alien part 2 – Oil Crisis? What Oil Crisis?

Fred my imaginary alien friend is puzzled.

‘Stephen, I am puzzled.’ He says

‘What about?’

‘I have just read that experts believe that your planet has only 25 years of oil left. And yet you don’t seem to be being doing a lot about it!

‘When you say “you”, do you mean me, or the planet?’ I say. Thinking that the next time I invent an imagery alien it will be one that can point me in the way of successful patents and great riches. Not one that asks awkward questions.

‘Both.’ He replies.

‘Well…’ I reply, making a note to myself that I start too many sentences with well. And end to many with the lame line ‘And stuff like that’
‘Well…’ I repeat. Having derailed myself with my internal conversation. ‘You have to understand that I have heard this before. When I was ten, my uncle who was the captain of an oil tanker told me the very same thing. That oil would run out by the time I was 35. And I am now 42!’ I pause, but Fred just stares at me.

‘Well’ (bugger that word again) ‘ It seems to me that if there really is 25 years of oil left, the price will get higher and higher meaning that we have at least 50 years left. And then I will be 92. And it will be someone else’s problem.’

‘Surely there is something you can do?’ Fred asks.

‘Can a rain drop change the direction of a storm?’

Fred opens his mouth to respond, but I get there first. ‘And don’t give me that crap about chaos and butterfly’s wings!’

Fred leaves. And I sit thinking. Surely I am right. And there is nothing I can do.

Conversations with an Alien – part 1

Imagine, if you will, that you meet an alien from another planet.

He, she or it, can speak perfect English. (This is imaginary after all!)

What would he, she or it, take for granted? What would he, she or it find surprising, about Earth or more specifically the United Kingdom of Great Britian?

As typing ‘he, she or it’ is soon going to become monotonous, I propose that we give our alien a name and a notional sex. He will be known as ‘Fred’.

‘Stephen,’ Fred says ‘After our conversation about money the other day, I have been looking at the Stock Market. Have I got this right?’ He pauses choosing his words carefully, ‘that the value of a company can change, not because the quality, the amount or need for the product changes, but just because one person, who may be wrong, has doubts about that company?’

‘Yes, you’re right.’ I reply ‘But it does depend on who has the doubts. You might want to research Northern Rock. If I recall correctly, that started with just one reporter.’

‘Bu, Fred frowns ‘ that does not make any sense at all!’

Is this right? Would an Alien society have money? Perhaps a society that has everything that it needs would have no requirement for money. But if money exists, does the stock market necessarily follow?

How the Doctor Changed My Life

I copied this from Simon Guerrier’s blog Nothing Tra La La?

The Big Finish website has posted a news story and full details of my forthcoming Doctor Who anthology, How The Doctor Changed My Life.

Alex Mallinson has produced an absolutely stunning cover which gave me chills the first time I saw it.

The schoolboy whose twin brother vanished in the night. A woman whose house teems with alien refugees. The dad who dies every evening…

All through space and time live people, ordinary people, whose lives have been turned upside down.

People who’ve lost jobs and loved ones, or seen their homes destroyed, or found themselves on whole other planets. They’ve nothing in common with one another except that their lives can never be the same.

Because they’re people who’ve met the Doctor. Featuring 25 original stories from 25 brand-new authors – the winners of a competition to seek out bold new writing talent!

Foreword by Paul Cornell

Homework by Michael Coen

Change Management by Simon Moore

Curiosity by Mike Amberry

Potential by Stephen Dunn

Second Chances by Bernard O’Toole

Child’s Play by LM Myles

Relativity by Michael Montoure

Outstanding Balance by Tim Lambert

The Last Thing You Ever See by Richard Goff

The Shopping Trolleys of Doom by Caleb Woodbridge

The Final Star by Chris Wing

The Man on the Phone by Mark Smith

The Monster in the Wardrobe by James C McFetridge

Suns and Mothers by Einar Olgeirsson

Taking the Cure by Matthew James

Those Left Behind by Violet Addison

Evitability by Andrew K Purvis

£436 by Nick May

Time Shear by Steven Alexander

Running on Empty by JR Loflin

Swamp of Horrors (1957) – Viewing Notes by Michael Rees

Insider Dealing by Dann Chinn

The Andrew Invasion by John Callaghan

Stolen Days by Arnold T Blumberg

Lares Domestici by Anna Bratton

Competition rules

Competition feedback

The story of how I became involved in this and how it feels to be a published author, coming soon!

Benign Computer Viruses – part 4

If you haven’t already read them, go to Benign Computer Viruses part 1, part 2 and part 3 first. (Thank you).

Okay, so you receive an e-mail from a reasonably reliable source, warning you not to sniff perfume offered to you in garage forecourts or citing several cases of AIDS caught from syringes strategically placed on cinema seats. The e-mail asks you, as a public spirited citizen to forward the e-mail.

So what do you do?

First thing I do is cut and paste part of the e-mail into Google. I find that this invariably leads me to a page on Snopes (the urban legend website).

Living in an English speaking country, I find that most of these stories have come from the United States and then had minor details changed to make them more local.

I them e-mail the person who sent me the e-mail explaining what I had done. I would like to think that this stops the person forwarding ill-considered e-mails. I suspect that in reality it just means that they stop sending ill-considered e-mails to me. In some cases they stop sending e-mails to me altogether!

Benign Computer Viruses – part 3

I have taken the ‘Boulder Pledge’

“Under no circumstances will I ever purchase anything offered to me as the result of an unsolicited e-mail message. Nor will I forward chain letters, petitions, mass mailings, or virus warnings to large numbers of others. This is my contribution to the survival of the online community.

Visit here to find out more

Or to find out more about spam in general visit www.SpamPrimer.com

Benign Computer Viruses – part 2

Another version of the ‘benign’ virus is the forwarded joke.

Now I like a good joke as much as the next man! (And the next man likes a good joke! GROAN)

But I keep receiving jokes that have been forwarded 5 of 6 times. Each ‘level of forwarding’ if there is such a term contains dozens of e-mal addresses.

I counted up 126 e-mail addresses in once such post.

PLEASE, PLEASE PLEASE!

If you want to forward a joke then strip out the previous e-mail addresses first. Let’s respect people’s privacy and help stop spam!

You know it makes sense!

Benign Computer Viruses

Originally written in 2004

Every now and then, various friends will send me an e-mail. The e-mail will contain a nice poem (probably about love and friendship) and a nice picture (teddy bears are a favourite). If it stopped there, I would be happy, but at the bottom of the e-mail there is a warning!
It says (And I am am paraphrasing widely here!):

If you do not forward this to anyone, something mildly unpleasant will happen to you. (Or you will have to pay for Hotmail, Yahoo, AOL, looking out of your apartment window etc)
If you send it to 5 people, you will get some money.
If you send it to 10 people you will win the Lotto!
I.M. Gullible did not believe this and did not send the message, and her whole villlage was wiped out by the Black Death[1].
She then forwarded to 15 people and became the Queen of England[2]

[1] That this happened in 1645 is just being picky!
[2] In a previous life. 15 people and you have to take pot luck, ie you may end up beheaded. 25 of more and you end up being played by Judi Dench!

I view these e-mails as a form of virus, blocking up my mail box and wasting my time. I never forward these and I never will!

Myspace/Friendster/etc

My thoughts:

Such websites can be a great place for sharing ideas, keeping in touch with friends, etc. but it seems like some of the time, like most of the time, they turn into giant cyber-popularity contests of who can have the most testimonials, the most friends added, most comments, etc.  So am I on the Myspace bandwagon these days?  You bet.  All the cool kids are doing it

Benign Computer Viruses – part three

I have taken the ‘Boulder Pledge’

“Under no circumstances will I ever purchase anything offered to me as the result of an unsolicited e-mail message. Nor will I forward chain letters, petitions, mass mailings, or virus warnings to large numbers of others. This is my contribution to the survival of the online community

Visit here to find out more

Or to find out more about spam in general visit www.SpamPrimer.com